Ethan's first few weeks

Gathering pictures from two phones and a camera has been difficult while having a newborn. I know pictures are in high demand, so here are a few of my favorites from the last couple of weeks.

Sleeping on Daddy's chest- 3 weeks

Soo much milk.

Sleep smile. So sweet.

After his first bath, which he loved.

Tummy time.

Having a newborn has been a much different experience than I thought it would be. It is much harder in different ways than I thought it would be. Going without sleep seems like it will be hard, but it's really not that bad. I sleep about the same amount as I used to, it's just spread out over 12 hours instead of all condensed. Once you get used to that it's not so bad! 

We have struggled a bit with breastfeeding. This Mama is in pain when the baby eats! We have good days and bad days, but we have lots of support from experienced lactation consultants, so we're working it out. 

The most exhausting part of having a newborn (maybe this gets better with the second?) is constantly second guessing everything. Should he be sleeping now? Should I wake him up to feed him? Did he eat enough? Does he want to be held? What about the swing? Can we give him a pacifier? Can he take a bottle? He only pooped three times today, is that enough? He pooped 12 times today, is that too much? Is his poop the right color? 

So. Many. Questions. 

When it comes down to it, we tell ourselves- God already created this incredible miracle. He will give us the wisdom that we need to take care of him and help him grow. Lord, grant us wisdom as we raise Ethan to grow into a God-fearing, loving man.

Ethan's birth story

4:00 a.m., July 31st

I get up to go to the bathroom, get back in bed, feel a small rush and wonder how I peed my pants immediately after going to the bathroom. I go back to the bathroom and decide that maybe I lost my mucous plug. Definitely something to celebrate, but nothing to get too excited about. I go back to sleep, noticing that I'm having some cramps about every 10 minutes.

4:00-8:00 a.m.

I go back to sleep.

8:00

We wake up and I tell Andy that I think I lost my mucous plug, but don't get too excited. But just in case, we should probably just make sure that we have everything we need before the baby comes (we had a large to-do list we were planning on accomplishing).

8:00-10:00

I notice that the gushes of water are still coming every 30 minutes or so. I do the next logical thing and google "water breaking" and read about it. All signs point to broken water so I give the birthing center a call and the on-call midwife calls me back and asks me what's going on. When I told her she said to come on in and she would check me out to see what was going on.

10:00-11:30

Andy vacuums (I've read stories where Mom starts doing weird things at the beginning of labor, in our case it was Dad.) I pack a bag and make a list of things we need to take with us.

11:30-12:30

We head to Target to buy last minute things. I should note, at this point I'm still unsure if my water is actually broken. It is nothing like the movies, people. We conquer and divide to get the items on our list. I comment to Andy, the baby feels really heavy down there!

1:00

The midwife listens to my story, says it sound like my water broke, but let's just confirm. She checks me out and there is definitely water (everywhere). I had a contraction while she was checking me so she was able to see that I was a little bit effaced and a little bit dilated. Good news.

The bad news is that I've had period cramps more painful than my contractions and they are still far apart. Since the water is broken, baby needs to be here or very close to here in 24 hours (which is now 15 hours).

She gives us three options: 1. Do nothing, wait for contractions to get strong; 2. Use the breast pump and take herbs to help contractions along; 3. Jump straight to the big guns and take some castor oil.

2:00-5:00

We chose the middle of the road option and pump. It makes my contractions stronger, but the hour after I pump, they taper off. Bummer. On to the big guns.

5:00

The midwife makes me an awesome smoothie with an orange Popsicle and castor oil. For some reason the "oil" part of the name never occurred to me. Basically I drank a melted orange Popsicle with a layer of fat on top. At least it didn't taste too bad.

5:00-7:00

The unpleasantness that goes with castor oil follows, meanwhile contractions are getting stronger and stronger. We are very relieved at this point, because if I didn't go into labor on my own we would have to go to the hospital to get started on pitocin. Bad news all around.

And now the rest is a blur as far as time goes. By this point I was in active labor, concentrating very hard on staying on top of the contractions. Andy was the absolute best birth coach, helping me relax through every contraction and sitting in some very uncomfortable positions so that I could be comfortable.

My last recollection of time is Andy saying, "we're past midnight so his birthday is going to be August 1st."

The midwife came every hour or so to check on us and check Ethan's heart rate. She always tried to listen through a contraction. Those were the easiest contractions to make it through- listening to the steady beat of our little guy's heart helped me focus.

At some point the midwife suggested the tub and I eagerly agreed. Apparently getting in too early can slow labor down. I guess by this point she could tell that wasn't going to happen. I remember her commenting later that every time she came in the room I was a little more serious. This is a good thing when you're about to have a baby.

I spent transition (7 cm to pushing, two hours maybe?) in the tub. The tub was amazing, the contractions sucked. I said all kinds of crazy things about how much it hurt (but never a swear word!) and the midwife responded to every single one in a classic "affirm the feeling and redirect." "I know it hurts, but that's the baby's head pushing down, he's getting ready to come out!"

I wanted to deliver in the tub, but it was too hot. I was sweating and my heart rate started to go up and so did Ethan's. The midwife made me get out, despite my desperate attempts to convince her otherwise. Again, "I know you don't want to, but you are going to. I'll help you."

I had just started to push in the tub, so moving to the bed was terrible. The birthing assistant got there and I started pushing. The hardest work I have ever done in my life. It didn't come as naturally as I had heard. It felt awkward and I wasn't really sure how to work with the contractions to make the baby come out. The midwife and birthing assistant were amazingly encouraging and Andy nearly suffered broken fingers. When he started to crown (OW!) and Andy could see the top of his head I really got down to business. The midwife kept telling me he was close, but when Andy said he saw his head I really believed them. I think pushing took about an hour and half, but I'm not really sure.

I suddenly looked down and there was my baby's face. I was so excited I think I pushed a little too hard to get the rest of him out. Soon I had a squirming, crying baby on my chest and I could not stop smiling. And I'm pretty sure I kept saying, "I did it! He came out of me!" He was born at 4:29 a.m., almost exactly 24 hours after my water broke.

The midwife spent the next 45 minutes stitching me up and Ethan spent the next 45 minutes testing out his lungs and screaming on my chest.

By 12:30 that afternoon we were discharged and heading home with our baby! And I can't believe that was two weeks ago. We loved our experience at the birthing center, and we love our little man more than words can say!

Midwives help people out

We were beyond blessed to have an amazing birth experience at the Austin Area Birthing Center. A lot of people wonder why we chose to go the birthing center route so I'll explain a little bit about what we wanted in prenatal care and the birth.

The most important thing to me was that I was receiving prenatal care somewhere that I felt comfortable. I had heard a little bit about the birthing center, so when we found out we were expecting we scheduled a tour. The whole atmosphere was very homey and comfortable, and the ladies who work at the front desk were amazingly friendly (I have a big thing about friendly receptionists).

I also liked the idea of having a natural birth, which I felt would be impossible for me if I had any other option. I know myself well enough that when the going got tough in the pain department, I would definitely give in to an epidural if given the option. Delivering at the birthing center took care of that problem, because they can't give any medication, much less an epidural. Not that I think anything is wrong with getting an epidural, I just really wanted to trust that God created my body in a perfect way to nurture and deliver our baby into this world.

As we continued our prenatal care, both Andy and I became increasingly impressed with the care we were receiving. Each midwife that we met with made us feel so comfortable and they were all so knowledgeable about natural ways to have a healthy pregnancy. Even the way they treated the baby was special. It seemed like they felt privileged to be able to feel him and listen to his heartbeat.

The more I learned about natural birth, the more I knew it was the right decision for me and for our baby.

Good Eats

My new found love for Google Reader (I know that I am extremely late on this bandwagon) and Pinterest have encouraged me to get in the kitchen a little bit more often. I'm also really working on cutting carbs and sugars down to a minimum (the midwife says that excess sugar and carbs are what grows big babies in the third trimester and the thought of a natural birth of a large baby has me motivated to watch what I eat).

A while back I found Mark Bitman's Food Matters cookbook at Half Price Books for less than $10 and I have been trying some recipes from there. I really like his food philosophy- eat whole foods and enjoy in moderation, and keep in mind how what you eat impacts the world around you. He's pretty "granola," but in a more sensible way that some. My favorite recipe that I have made from there is "Beans and Greens." It was a great way to hide some veggies into my meal, since pregnancy has made me revert to my childhood hatred of vegetables.

Here is the recipe:

1. Saute an onion and some garlic in olive oil for 5-7 minutes. Add some chili powder (a teaspoon or so) and some cumin and some red pepper flakes if you want. Cook a little longer.
2. Add about a pound of kale to the pan and cook until the kale wilts.

Mmm. Kale. And amateur iPhone phootgraphy.

3. Add a can of black beans (drained, liquid reserved) and cook to heat beans.
4. Use a potato masher to mash up the beans. Add some of the bean liquid if it seems dry.

Mashing beans. One pan dinner- sign me up!

 5. Put the bean/kale mixture into a tortilla, roll up and serve. The make great leftovers for lunches, and I hear they freeze well, too.

No picture of the final product because I was too busy eating it. That's the difference between me and people who write real food blogs. They take beautiful pictures of their food before they eat it. I just eat it.

Final ratings:
• Me: GREAT because it was super easy, made good leftovers and tasted great!
• Husband: GOOD because I ate vegetables and the taste was tolerable. Complaints: no meat, whole wheat tortillas are "like the desert in my mouth."

Green and gray for Baby P?

 A nursery mood board that we really love. Maybe our final nursery decision? We shall see.

[source]

I think I really can say "we" for this one. I can convince Andy that we need anything if it's green or coordinates with green. Too bad it's not yellow, because yellow is much more in style right now. But I think I can make green work in the nursery...especially with Etsy close by.

We registered at Target and Babies 'R' Us this weekend. People who design nurseries like the one above definitely do not shop at Babies 'R' Us or Target. After registering at Babies R Us, I was looking through one of the free magazines they gave us and I came across an advertisement for a sleek looking black and silver pack and play. It said: "Bunnies and pastel pinks may be cute and all, but every woman has her breaking point." My sentiments exactly. Not that there's anything wrong with pastels- I've seen really sweet nursery designs with pastels, it's just what I'm looking for.

Anyway, I realized quickly that they decorative type items I'm looking for will not be purchased in bulk at Babies 'R' Us or Target. Here are a few things I really have my eye on from Etsy (per request of my mom):

Ottoman

Bunting

Custom bedding

Custom bedding might be a bit of a stretch on our budget...but I love it. I really just need the skirt, sheet and changing pad cover. I did find a no-sew crib skirt tutorial, so maybe I'll attempt the skirt myself! How hard can it be? I'm guessing harder than it looks since most people charge around $100 for custom crib sheets....Maybe I'll be feeling adventurous one weekend and attempt it.

It's a....

BOY!


It's so weird to actually know. For so long we've just been saying "it" or "him or her." Now he has so much more of an identity. I feel like I'm adjusting all over again to having a baby. First I had to adjust to the fact that a little person was going to join our family and now I have to adjust to the fact that a little BOY person will be joining our family.

As for names, I promise we will name our child before we leave the birthing center. But probably not before we meet him. I just don't see my indecisive self and my think-everything-through-one-million-times husband coming to a decision anytime soon. For now, he is Baby Boy.

I can also narrow down my nursery ideas, even though I don't really like all girly or all boyish nurseries. Basically, I want a bright and colorful nursery that will grow with him. And items that can be used outside of a nursery (read: I don't want everything in the nursery to have a lion or a sports item or a train...).

I like this design board/color scheme a lot:

Source

The sad news about this design board is that my favorite part, and probably the only thing I can actually afford is the scalloped flags (no. 11 at the top) is an Etsy find that sold out. Let me know if you find anything similar!

Last but not least, 21 weeks and finally looking more pregnant. As Andy put it, "You look pregnant now!"

Productive

Today we:

1. Rearranged our bedroom. Andy didn't want our head by the window anymore, since our window overlooks the parking lot and we can never sleep with the windows open because it is way too loud. I mean come on people, is it really necessary to take that speed bump at 30 MPH in the middle of the night?

2. Filed our taxes. Go me.

3. Mentally spent our tax return at IKEA on furniture for Baby's room. Not that the baby has a room yet. But he or she will, eventually. And when that time comes, there will need to be furniture! Here's what we are loving so far:

I'm kind of obsessed with the new gray-brown color at Ikea. I was originally thinking we would go with white furniture, but since we won't be able to paint the walls I think this color will stand out without being obnoxious. Plus, I want to do bright colored accessories for the rest of the nursery like...

from Anthropology and only $24

 ....this for a girl...

From Urban Outfitters ($39-$74, depending on size)

....or this for a boy...

We are pretty set on the crib and dresser (right design and the price is right!). We are still thinking about the chair. It's not really super cheap, but it was cozy and small. We are into small things right now since our apartment feels incredibly packed full. I don't anticipate that wherever we move will have that big of a room for the baby either.

Today was my first day of spring break without a nap, which means it's nearly my bedtime! I sure am going to miss spring break when it leaves.